Growing

Spring is in the air and on the calendar. My favorite garden in the city reopened two weeks ago, the temperature has significantly risen, and the trees outside my apartment window are in full bloom.

Just in case anyone in the state missed the season change memo, Mother Nature sent Oklahoma a not so gentle reminder earlier this week. I spent a couple of hours in a tornado shelter at the mall on Wednesday night, where with a drained cell phone battery I was left to receive my information from high school mall workers. For a good thirty minutes last night, I was under the false impression that downtown was on fire, Target burned down, and a that a good portion of Tulsa had been swept away by a tornado. I am learning that Oklahoma Spring weather brings out an unflattering, stressed-out and apparently gullible side of me (for the record downtown is still standing. Target, too).  Yes Oklahoma, we know it is Spring. Thank you for the unsolicited reminder.

Minus the sporadic weather, I'm rather fond of this time of year. I love the patches of color that begin to appear in the trees and on the ground. I love the opening of the farmer's market. I love the growth, the change, and the "newness" appearing every way I turn.

This year, thanks to the generosity of several people in my life, I had the pleasure of having a bit of spring indoors over the past couple of months. A coworker and a dear friend both gave me an amaryllis bulb for Christmas. It was fascinating to watch them grow from a round brown bulb to a towering stalk with  brilliant red blooms.

This year, though the first time to grow an amaryllis, was not the first time I have received an amaryllis bulb. Two Christmases ago, I am ashamed to say I received a bulb that I never gave a chance to get even close to any type of growth.

It was the last day of work before Christmas, and the holiday hustle and bustle (I think that is just a cute way to say stress) had begun. After our office holiday party, I was quickly gathering up my belongings to begin a two week hiatus from work. I threw my belongings and gifts from coworkers (including an amaryllis bulb) into my trunk. Somewhere on the drive home, the vase containing the bulb and instructions for growth rolled to a dark corner of my car's trunk.

After returning home after Christmas, while unpacking my suitcase, I caught a glimpse of the vase. I pulled it out and looked at it. I quickly decided that 1. It probably wouldn't grow in my apartment 2. I didn't have time to figure it out 3. It probably wouldn't be worth the trouble. I threw it back in my trunk, and it regrettably made it into the trash a few months later during a deep car cleanse (aka trash emptying) at the car wash. 

If I could have looked into the future and seen how beautiful the transformation of the bulbs would be when planted, I wouldn't have been so quick to toss it away. If I had at least taken it out of my trunk, it might have had a chance to reach it's potential. If I had given it even a little bit of water each day, I could have helped it grow into something beautiful.

I am so thankful that the Lord and the people in my life don't treat me like I treated that bulb.

On my own, I am nothing much more than a dirty brown bulb, a human, inclined to sin and inclined to mess up. What if the Lord looked at me and saw me and treated me for what I am alone. 1. She probably won't grow to be much. Look at her now. 2. I have the universe to deal with. I don't have time. 3. She won't be worth the trouble. I'll just leave her in the dark. What if all those who have taken the time to invest in my life had chosen not to. 1. My time would be better spent investing in someone else. I don't think she has much potential. 2. I am really busy. I don't have time to get together with her. I don't even have time to pray for her. 3. Even if I did invest in her, it probably wouldn't make much of a difference.

Thank goodness the Lord is more lavish with his grace than I was with water for that forsaken bulb in my trunk. He looks at us through the lens of the sacrifice Christ made to atone for our sins. Where we see a mess and where we see failures, He sees what He has created us to be. He sees his beloved sons and daughters. He sees something beautiful.

I am so thankful that, during the times I have not seen the potential in myself and have been discouraged that I am not yet the woman I want to be, the Lord and the people he has placed in my life saw what I didn't see and took the time to water me with life giving words, time, prayer, and encouragement.

I love that the Lord has not called us to live our lives alone. I know I wouldn't be very good at facing the world all by myself.  In fact, I believe we are called to be the hands and feet of Christ by encouraging one another, praying, discipling, and building each other up in what God has created us to be and accomplish. We are called to love and provide nourishment for those the Lord has placed in our paths.

One of my favorite verses is Hebrews 10:24-25 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Not only has Christ called us to encourage and support eachother, he has called us to do it more and more each day.

I know I wouldn't be who I am without all of the people who have taken the time to teach me, rebuke me, pray for me, encourage me, cry with me, and laugh with me. Thank you to each of you for taking the time to pour your own life water into me, a woman who makes mistakes, says things I shouldn't and may not always meet your expectations. Thanks for letting God use you to help transform my life and mind to be more like Him each day. Without you, I could still be in the dark.  Without you, I wouldn't have the knowledge or confidence to give back what you have given me to the people God has placed in my life to water.

I am still growing. We all are and always will be. That is part of the beauty of it all. The Lord sees the whole picture even when the growth has just begun. He loves us right now in a way that he sees the beautiful thing we are becoming instead of witholding his love until our growth is completed. In calling us to love like He does, He is calling us to see those around us in that same way - as someone beautiful who has the potential to bring glory to the Creator through a life lived for Him.

Keep watering. Keep loving. He promises the end result will be beautiful.