Fireflies

Last Friday night, I had one of the my favorite experiences in Tulsa, Oklahoma thus far. I headed to the Philbrook Museum of Art with one of my closest friends. We made our way to the back of the property, paid our seven dollar entry fee, and with lawn chairs in hand proceeded to walk into a picturesque summer night.

The museum plays movies on a large screen every Friday night during the month of July. If you have not been to the museum grounds, you need to take a walk through their grass with bare feet to fully comprehend the experience these movie nights provide. The grass is soft and perfect, the flowers were blooming, and the sun had set. Have you watched the movie, The Wedding Planner (yes, the one starring J-Lo)? Picture the "movie in the park" scene. All you need is a security guard named Burt, a bag of all brown M&M's and a slow dance, and the scene on the art museum lawn would be identical.  Needless to say, the scene was perfect. The only light was the one of the projector against the screen, or so I thought.

That particular evening, the museum was showing an old Humphrey Bogart film titled Beat the Devil. I couldn't tell you what the movie was about though. I was distracted for 95% of the film. I was surprised by the small number in attendance at the event. Looking around at blankets spread out and couples all around, we determined that the men in attendance were among the smartest in the city and that even a date with a stranger at this event would leave almost any girl in a state to fall hard and fast. Men, there are 3 weeks left in July. This might be your chance. You're welcome. Ladies, don't say I didn't warn you.

People watching, however, was not my only distraction. Before the film began, as I was looking around, I began to see little flickers of yellow light. Fireflies.

Looking back, I have memories of being a little girl and spending summer evenings out in the front yard. As soon as I saw that first flicker, I would run inside to grab a cup, probably one of the plastic ones I got with my kids meal during Sunday afternoon lunch out. The pursuit would then begin. I would follow the flickr, catch a firefly, and then let it go. I was too concerned about their well being to let them suffocate in my cup. Then I would begin the process all over again.

Last week, as I was sitting on the museum lawn reminiscing, I decided I needed to catch one. One flew close enough, and I caught it in my hands. I didn't even need a plastic Chili's cup.

I looked at it between the spaces in my fingers and it wasn't what I expected. It almost looked like a housefly. It was black and honestly kind of ugly. If I saw it flying around my head in the daylight, I probably would have tried to swat it away. I sat for a while and waited for it to light up, but it was a stubborn little lightning bug. It just sat there. It wouldn't light up until I let it fly away.

Call me crazy, but I think people are a lot like fireflies. It is easy to look at a mass of people and identify them to be just that. Each face becomes just another in the crowd. We don't think twice about the person who walks past us on the downtown sidewalk. For all we know, they are just like all the rest. Who are all these people though? I could walk past a world renowned author and not know it. Maybe we are missing the light.

Psalm 139:14 says, "I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

I think the Lord has put some kind of light in each of us. A light that is both wonderful and unique. Just like a firefly, that light might be more evident in certain settings than in others.

But whether or not others choose to notice it, the light is there and it is a part of who we are. We each have been given a set of unique talents, gifts, abilities, and character traits to live our lives to their fullest potential and bring the most praise to the Creator.

A firefly's light shines in the dark. Your light may shine on a stage in front of people or maybe it shines in a classroom full of students. Perhaps your light shines behind the scenes or maybe through conversations you have with others.

Whatever your light is, learn what it is, and learn where you shine to your fullest potential. I believe that no one is just a face in a crowd. The Lord only creates beautiful things. Yes, that means you, too.

Let your God-given light shine. The world won't be able to look away. The beauty and light of the Lord is something to be shared, captured, and shared once again with others.

On to the next.

Sunday, June 9, was the quintessential summer afternoon, at least in my book. My parents and grandfather stopped in Tulsa on the way back to Texas from a wedding. We sat on the patio, overindulged in enchiladas, and took a stroll around what I would qualify as the most beautiful gardens in Oklahoma. I returned to my apartment with a smile on my face and a warmth in my heart, the kind of warmth only a perfect summer day can bring (I'm talking figurative warmth here people, despite the rising Fahrenheit reading on the Weather Channel app).

To cap off the afternoon, I filled up an over-sized glass with sweet tea and headed to my summer abode, the apartment pool. Over the past few weeks, I have noticed several "constants" in this particular venue.

One. Pool goers, generally speaking, are under the false impression that everyone wants to hear their music...on full blast. Some take it to a whole new level and bring portable speakers to make sure even those on the opposite end of the pool hear every word Jay-Z utters, speaks, says, mumbles...whatever rappers do these days. I always say I am culturally unaware and choose to be that way. How am I supposed to keep this up if I hear the pop culture top 20 playlist on repeat against my will?

Two. There is a small handful of faithful pool goers. If my apartment complex had a color card membership program like Starbucks, this particular group would have their gold card in hand, not for the number of Frappacinos they purchased, but instead for the amount of hours they spend soaking in Vitamin D. These "gold card holders" are a diverse group. Some are unusually bronze couples who I am assuming have tanning oil as a line item on their budget considering the amount of times they re-apply, some are parents with unusually loud (or maybe its normal...I am single and childless, so I wouldn't know) children, and some are loners with a book, like me. I am pronouncing myself to be a gold card holder. You have to be one to know one.

Three. Apartment pools are a prime hangout for care free, summer-loving, jobless, high school students. There are several ways to spot this particular breed at the pool, one being their conversations. Confession. I eavesdrop.

One conversation in particular that day (one I overheard, not one I was having) stood out in my mind. As I was reading my book, two girls, of the high school breed I previously spoke of, came and sat down in the two chairs to my right. I left my headphones in my apartment that day and was, therefore, subject to overhearing their conversations. Call it eavesdropping if you want, but I equate it to listening  against my will, much akin to the Jay-Z music that was simultaneously blaring over someone's portable speakers.

Let's call the two girls Amy and Sarah to make this less confusing. The conversation went something like this. Amy looked over at Sarah and started talking about how it was her first day at the pool for the summer. She said she loved summer and was so glad to be out at the pool. Sarah quickly agreed that pool days were "the life." However, Amy chimed in with a quick "but." She said she did love summer but was ready for fall. She said summer was nice and all, but she couldn't wait to be drinking pumpkin spice latte's, pulling out her boots, and carving pumpkins. Sarah, being a high school girl, once again quickly agreed with her friend Amy by saying, "yeah, I am so over summer."

Several thoughts ran through my head as I turned my attention back to my book. First came a bout of sadness for these two girls. One day, more like five minutes, of the pool and they were already over it? I had spent a good ten hours at the pool already that week. They didn't know what they were missing out on. Second. Sarah is fickle. She needs to work on having her own opinions. I was a Sarah in high school. Good thing that's over. Third. I, too often, relate to Sarah and Amy's outlook in different areas of my life.

If you are anything like me, you place the future, whether that is a job, a season, an event on the calender, or a stage in life on a pedestal.  I make my way through days, weeks, and sometimes even months looking forward to that next thing. I can recall so many conversations on the phone saying I am so excited for "such and such"...that will give me something to look forward to and get me through the next couple of weeks.

However, when the event arrives, the season changes, or we reach our goal, the moment we have been waiting for somehow seems anticlimactic once we begin looking toward the next thing. On to the next. 

Summer is finally here, but maybe I like fall better. On to the next. I met the one and got married, but I really would be happier if I had kids. On to the next. I got a job that I love, but I would rather be a stay at home mom. On to the next. The holiday party is finally here, but what's on the calendar for next weekend? The list could go on and on. And it always does. But what are missing with all this "looking forward" we are doing? Sometimes I think it is a lot.

Today I had a conversation on the phone with one of my favorite people in the world, my papaw. I love everything about him, especially his outlook on life. For as long as I can remember, every time I ask him how his day is, he says, "Every day is a good day." It never fails to bring a smile to my face.

Every day really is a good day though, isn't it? Today is here, and it was given to us by the Lord. Shouldn't that be enough? Over the past few months, I feel like I have been learning to cherish each moment and each day for what it is. It's a lesson I have and am still having to learn over and over again. No matter how much time I spend trying to plan and figure out my future, it doesn't change the fact that the moment I am living is the present one. The more I try to think and plan, the more God shows me how wrong I am, how right and perfect He and His ways are, and how beautiful and mysterious the present moment is.

Though I may not know what my future holds, what next weekend looks like, or what song is going to come over my apartment neighbor's portable speakers next, there is something I do know. God has given us each one day to live at a time. That is all we are promised. What a shame it would be to miss out on the mystery waiting to be uncovered today because we are too busy pondering the mystery of tomorrow.

Today is here and so are you. Tomorrow will come, but you won't get this moment back. Every day is a good day, and I think today is a good day to start living like we believe it.