So many different things can trigger an emotion or bring up a memory. Listening to a song, seeing a familiar face, or being in a particular location. However, places do not only hold a past, they hold a future, too. So many places hold future memories and meaning that we have not yet encountered.
When I first moved to Tulsa, everything was something new to explore...every restaurant, every coffee shop, every street, and every park. Before I moved from Oklahoma City, I had been to Tulsa only once, and that was a trip to a house in Broken Arrow with no other stops. I'm not sure if that even counts. My first roommate in Tulsa had grown up here and graciously showed this directionally challenged gal around the city over the course of the year we lived together.
One of the places I went with her family stuck as my now favorite place in the city. At Woodward Park in Tulsa, tucked away in the back is a gated garden called the Linnaeus Teaching Gardens. The garden charges nothing for admission and is run and maintained solely by volunteers. There are rarely more than 5 visitors at a time in the garden, adding to its tranquility. I have determined it is Tulsa's own secret garden, and, if I could, I would claim it as my own secret garden.
It's hard to put into words why I love it so much. The first time I visited, I remember wondering there were not more people walking around. When you first walk in, there is a large deck with several small tables overlooking a pond with little waterfalls flowing into it. As you move along the walking path, at any given time of year, there is a large variety of beautiful flowers, greenery, trees, and sometimes the pond is spotted with blooming lily pads (one of my personal favorites). Further down the path, a vegetable garden is home to huge cabbage plants, hanging gourds, peppers, tomatoes, and asparagus to name a few. The back of the garden houses more water features, beautiful Japanese Maples, an outdoor fireplace and another seating area.
I have visited the garden countless times since then. It's the place I like to go to get away and collect my thoughts. I often bring my lunch to sit on the deck in the middle of the work day to get some fresh air. Other days I have gone and brought only a book. Each time I visit, I enjoy seeing the volunteers working in the garden beds and the things that have changed since the last time I came. I love the colors, I love the smells, and I love the sounds including ringing wind chimes and moving water. No matter what is going on, the peace, the beauty and the colors seem to make me move a little slower, breathe a little deeper, and forget about any stress going on outside of those garden gates.
Last week, I brought my lunch to the Linnaeus Gardens in Tulsa on my lunch break like I have done dozens of other times before. But today, as a sat down at a table on the porch overlooking the garden, I smiled for not the reasons I usually do when I am there, but for a new one.
A little over 4 weeks ago, on a Friday afternoon, Jeff asked me if I would like to go to brunch the following morning at a restaurant called Wild Fork at Utica Square. Not thinking anything out of the ordinary, I told him I would love to go. The next morning, we had brunch on the patio there. If you have not visited Tulsa in the Spring, I suggest you do, if for nothing else than for the tulips in the courtyard at Utica Square. That morning, they were at their peak. We had a wonderful brunch, and I still had no suspicions. The only thing out of the ordinary was that Jeff had brought a whole bottle of ibuprofen and had taken it out of his jacket pocket and put it on the table. If you know Jeff, you know that he rarely takes any kind of medicine. Still, I was not suspicious, only concerned that he had taken me to brunch when he was not feeling well.
After brunch, we walked around the stores in the outdoor shopping center. We made our usual stops at West Elm and Restoration Hardware. In between stores, Jeff told me he was going to put the bottle of medicine and car and that he would be right back. I later learned he replaced it with something else in his pocket (!!!).
While in the last store, Jeff told me that our friend Bethany had texted him to say she was taking their kids, Eden and Miles, over to the Linnaeus Gardens to look at the fish in the pond if we wanted to walk over and say hi.
Jay and Bethany's kids have become like our adoptive niece and nephew here in Tulsa. They are some of the sweetest little kids around. If you know there parents, you know that they take after them and that is no surprise at all. Jeff was there to meet both Eden and Miles on the days they were born. Babysitting Eden and Miles is always a favorite date of ours and often a topic of our conversations, too. They affectionately refer to Jeff as Uncle Mossman. I have had the pleasure of babysitting them on Friday mornings while Bethany teaches, and love seeing Eden's smile when she hears a knock on the door and she knows it is Uncle Mossman bringing us donuts. Jay, Bethany, Eden and Miles are dear friends that are like family to us here in Tulsa, and we are so thankful they have us as a part of their lives.
All that being said, I didn't think anything out of the ordinary when Jeff asked if I wanted to walk over to the park. When we arrived, Bethany and the kids were no where to be seen. I assumed they were just running late, and we walked through the garden. I had visited earlier in the week and cluelessly took Jeff around to show him everything I had seen including the asparagus in the vegetable garden.
After we walked around the whole path, we reached a place on the path at the bottom of the pond where you can see the majority of the garden. I questioned again where they were, but Jeff ignored my question and asked me what it was that I loved about the garden. Thinking he was just killing time until they finally showed up (we had been walking for a while), I gave him an answer. He answered back and said "I love that these gardens are beautiful in every season, and that's something I love about you too." (romantic right?!) At that point, my heart started beating faster, and I saw Jeff's demeanor change. He told me he had brought me there for a reason and that the kids weren't coming. That was the first moment I realized what was happening. I always thought I would know when it would happen or would figure it out somehow. I couldn't have been more wrong. I was caught completely off guard. Kudos to Jeff on being the best secret keeper.
Jeff then proceeded to say so many sweet things about how thankful he is that I am in his life, told me he loved me for the first time, got down on one knee, and said the best words I have ever heard, "Kelly Marie Hall, will you marry me?" Of course I said YES and was so happy to tell him I love him too! He placed the most beautiful ring I have ever seen on my left hand and let me know we would be driving down to Dallas to celebrate with family. It was a wonderful weekend full of time with family and celebration with friends both in person and over the phone.
When we returned to Tulsa, Jeff invited me to come over after my small group. His living room was covered in photos, tickets from our trips, mementos, and cards I written him through our relationship. Pictures covered the walls and fireplace and rose petals covered the floor. I think to say that Jeff blew me away is an understatement. Words don't even do justice to explain how special Jeff's proposal was to me.
I always wondered what the man I would marry would be like. As I grew up, the things I thought I wanted changed. As a little girl, husbands were always pictured in a palace as prince charming...or as Ken riding shotgun in Barbie's Jeep. There were even a good few years in my late teens where I was determined the man I would marry would have to drive a pick up truck. As I got older, through personal experiences and the ones of those I loved, the Lord really began to shape in my heart what I was looking for in a husband. I knew he would have to love the Lord above all else and have that be an evident part of his life. I hoped to find a man who would be generous, kind, fun and adventurous. I hoped to find someone I could be myself with and someone who would take me as I am. I hoped to find someone I could laugh with and someone who would be there for me when things weren't perfect. I hoped to find someone who I could encourage and support through good times and bad. I began to pray for those things and always hoped the Lord would answer my prayers.
I remember in college telling a friend that I believed I would only love one man and that I would love him forever. The Lord answered my prayers and more by placing Jeff in my life. If you don't know Jeff Moss, you are missing out and I am confident in saying that anyone who knows him would agree.
When Jeff and I started dating, I knew I liked him a lot and admired his character through the friendship we had previous to dating. As we continued to get to know each other and spend time together, I quickly fell in love with him and love him more every day. I have never met anyone like Jeff. He is kind whether he has known you for years or for 5 minutes. He is the most generous man I have ever met. Watching him live out God's call for us to meet the needs of others has challenged me to grow that area myself. He is so smart and such a hard worker. He makes me smile and laugh more than anyone I have ever known. No matter what has been going on in my day, seeing him gives me that same move a little slower, breathe a little deeper, and forget about any stress feeling I get when I walk into those gardens at the park. I have never met anyone like him. The man who encourages me and supports me in my endeavors. The man who makes me feel loved. The man who makes me laugh and smile every day. The man I miss when he is gone. The man I love traveling and going on adventures with. The man I respect and want would follow anywhere. The man who challenges me to live out my walk with Christ and love like Jesus does. The man who makes me melt every time I hear him say he loves me. The only man I have ever loved and the only man I ever will.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind in the best way. We have begun talking about future plans, picked a wedding date (come on October!!), and picked a wedding venue. Through all the plans though, I am looking forward to our life together more than anything. Neither of us are perfect and we both make mistakes. That's one of the best parts of loving someone and having them love you too, though - loving through imperfections and the ups and downs. I don't know what our future will hold ten years from now or even one week from now. That's part of the fun of it though, right? As we walk into the unknown, I know one thing. No high or low, no good time or bad could take away the love I have for this man. The future has always been a scary thing to me, but I am not scared with Jeff by my side. There is no one else I would want to walk into the the unknown with. A lifetime of memories, support, encouragement, and seeking Christ together is ahead of us. I am so thankful and so blessed and undeserving of this gift. I thank the Lord for letting this new adventure be a part of my story and a reminder of the grace and good gifts the Lord gives in our lives.
I write this story down in love and so that when I am old and gray I never forget a single detail. Thank you Jeff for loving me and asking me to be yours. I'll always love you. I can't wait to marry you!
