On this particular day, my coworker and I had already visited 5 different houses. We were driving further north than most people in Tulsa would care to go, and I was honestly ready to go home. I'm so glad I didn't get my wish.
When we drove onto Mr. Eddie's property, we saw a barn, and windmill and a cute little blue and white farmhouse in need of some TLC. Mr. Eddie greeted us at the door with an adorable 86 year old grin and invited us in.
When seeking a story at the homes we visit, sometimes I get one word answers when I ask people questions, sometimes I learn more information than I want to know, and sometimes people are harder to open up than a stubborn jar of jelly.
Mr Eddie was different though. I walked into his living room, and his house told the story. His walls were covered in photographs, and I hardly knew where to start asking questions. As we moved around the room and I pointed to different photographs, I learned that Mr. Eddie had lived near the Grand Canyon, raised several children, trained horses, and had been a part of a traveling barber shop quartet (they even wore the striped jackets y'all).
There was one photo that stood apart from the others. It was in a large frame on a table next to the couch and pictured a man, woman, and two small children. I asked Mr. Eddie if there was a story behind it. Mr Eddie began to talk to me about how he had a passion for horses and animals from the time he was a little boy. A family member taught him to train, and he eventually inherited and was able to purchase several horses of his own as a young adult. The horses became a point of attraction for the neighborhood, especially the kids. Mr. Eddie gladly welcomed anyone who knocked at his gate and shared knowledge he had with anyone who wanted to listen.
He told me about one boy in particular who started coming to visit his horses every day. Over time, Mr. Eddie learned that the young man had a very rough home life and came to visit Mr. Eddie's horses to escape his problems at home. Mr. Eddie's "farm" became a safe haven for him, and Mr. Eddie took the boy in like he was his own son. He taught him to train and ride the horses and invited him to his family dinners. He became as much a part of his family as his own blood relatives. Mr. Eddie pointed again at the picture and told me that the young man was full grown and now had a family of his own. He now brings his own children over to visit Mr. Eddie and his horses.
I asked Mr. Eddie if I could go outside to see all of his animals. He caught my attention indoors when he began talking about how at one time he owned 63 chickens, whose eggs he sold for $2 a dozen to pay for their feed. He since has tamed the number down to 6. Anyways, I wanted to get a closer look and maybe a picture of the chickens I could use in telling his story. There was a cow taking a nap I thought I could get a shot of too. Apparently, I set my expectations too low. As I was taking a picture of a single chicken, Mr. Eddie asked my coworker if she wanted to see him call the goats. She said sure and told me that he wanted me to see, too.
The few goats I expected paled in comparison to the image I next captured on my camera. As Mr. Eddie yelled "GOATS", not 3 goats came around the corner, but more of a stampede of farm animals composed of a swarm of goats and chickens followed by a horse.
Mr. Eddie shared his love of horses and farm animals to make a difference in the lives of those placed in his path. Even at 86, he still loved sharing and connecting through a passion he had nearly his whole life. That got me thinking? What gifts, passions, and abilities has the Lord given me that He can use to impact others?
Do I have horses...or a herd of goats? No. I am guessing you probably don't either (if you do, you should invite me over more often).
Maybe you love to paint or maybe you are a great listener. Some of you are passionate about sports and some love being outdoors. Maybe you thrive behind the scenes and your organization skills could give the Container Store a run for their money. Maybe you could write a book on presidential trivia or maybe you could build me a pottery barn knock off bookshelf (call me).
The gifts and passions that you innately possess aren't an accident. God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are made to share the love of Christ, and God has made you to reach and connect with people that no one else can. You were made on purpose for a purposeful plan.
I have been reading a book titled, "Anything" by Jennie Allen which talks about being able to pray just that to the Lord and mean it. "Lord, I will do anything." Full surrender is a tough and goes deeper than words that roll off of our tongues. I want my heart to be in a place of surrender where I can pray these words and truly mean them.
I have been learning a lot about myself lately. I've seen sides of myself through attitudes, thoughts and actions that are a far cry from perfect and a far cry from pretty. I have been humbled by recognizing sinful, judgmental and unloving thoughts and actions that are present in my life, and in turn, more than ever, have recognized my daily need for God's grace, forgiveness, and presence in my life to live loving others as He has called me to do.
It's funny that recognizing failures and shortcomings seems to be a crucial step in living a life of abandon for Christ. When I recognize I can't and don't have to do it on my own, that He is there to guide me, a big burden is lifted. I am a person with a sin nature, but because of the saving grace of Christ, I am able to live in the light of Christ instead of the darkness of sin.
The prayer "Lord, anything" would be slightly terrifying and maybe impossible to embrace if we had to do it on our own. God has equipped each of us with the passions, gifts, and abilities with His help to complete what He has and will call us to do.
It can be daunting thinking about the future and what a life of true abandon could look like. Would God call me to take in someone outside my family? Would He call me to move? Would He call me to something I innately fear?
Would He call me out of comfort? Probably. Would He call me to let go of my own plans? Most likely. Will He be with me every step of the way and provide all I need? Definitely.
That's more than enough. More than enough to let go of all uncertainties and live each day trusting Him.
I pray the Lord gives me and you hearts of abandon. Lord, open our eyes and hearts to see everything you have placed in us and prepare us to say anything to all you lead us to do and to be.
