Butterfly Kisses

One afternoon after Christmas, I was sitting on my bed with my 4 year old niece, Audrey.

I would have been fine shutting my eyes and taking a nap, but Audrey was insistent we play a game. The first "game" was called birthday. She instructed me on the rules. One of us was supposed to yell, "It's your birthday!" to the other and then hand the other a series of pretend gifts and, as the other opened the gift, tell them what it was they were opening. Once the first person's birthday was over, the roles reversed, and the game continued. During this game, for my "birthday", I received a hippopotamus, a car, a house, and a stuffed bear. That little girl sets the gift giving bar very high.

After we ran out of energy from unwrapping our very large gifts and giving enthused reactions, Audrey said it was time for a new game. This one was a bit simpler. It was called "sleeping beauty." We were both supposed to be princesses. However, one had fallen into a deep sleep and couldn't be woken (I think Disney may own the rights to this one) except by a kiss on the cheek from another princess (that part may be a little different). Once the princess was woken from her deep sleep, the other princess fell into dreamland, and the game continued. I think you have it figured out.

After about fifteen minutes of this game, I needed a break. Mostly because I didn't want to lay my head down on the pillow again and have to "wake up" before my head rested on the pillow for at least an hour.

Looking to change the subject, I asked Audrey if she had heard of butterfly kisses before. She giggled at the name and told me no. She wanted to learn. She giggled even more when I quickly blinked my eyelashes next to her cheek. Audrey gave me a butterfly kiss and wanted many more herself, giggling more each time.

She looked at me and, in a sweet little voice through a smile, said, "Aunt Kelly, where did you learn about the butterfly kisses?"

I paused and thought. I honestly could not pinpoint the moment. The 1996 Bob Carlisle song was the only specific thing that came to mind. I told her I didn't know. That didn't seem to bother her too much, though. She replied, "I like butterfly kisses".

We continued our game of "sleeping beauty",  but this time exchanged the magic smooches for fluttering eyelashes and lots of giggles.

When I told Audrey I had to go back home to Tulsa the next day, she frowned and said, "But how can I give you butterfly kisses if you go home?" I choked back my tears and told her butterfly kisses were good over face time too. The smile came back to her face.

Today marks one month until February 14, Valentine's Day, a day celebrating love itself. Where is it, though, that we learn to love?

When I think back through my life, I have been shown love in so many ways by so many people and, in turn, have been blessed with so many people to give back the love I have been given.

Maybe part of it starts the moment we are born. I am not a mother, but I am told there is nothing like the new love you feel when you first hold your baby in your arms. From the moment we are first introduced to love, I believe it continues to be all around us. We just have to look for it.

Love can be expressed in so many different ways- a hug, a kiss, a conversation, a note, a laugh, time spent, a whispered prayer, a selfless gesture to a stranger, a smile, or a helping hand to name a few. I believe love can be shown to people we hold the closest and also to those we have never met.

The truth is, as believers, we have someone who loved us before time began. Someone who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could live. Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 

I can't even fathom this kind of love. The Creator of the universe chose you and me, even in our darkest places. He has loved us to life in Him if we will accept the love he lavishes on us through the free gift of salvation.

As we walk through our lives, no matter how long or how short they may be, we have an example to follow. We can learn to love even in the hardest of circumstances or with the most seemingly difficult people by turning to Christ and learning how to love and gaining strength to love through Him.

1 John 4:19 says, "We love because he first loved us."

As daughters and sons of Christ we are called to share His love throughout the world in response to the selfless love he has and continues to show us. That kind of gift and that kind of love are meant to be shared. It's one of those things that is just too good to keep to yourself.

There is nothing like the joy the Lord brings when we share his love with others. The joy the Lord brings when we are obedient to his command to love one another is so sweet.

A part of my small group study last week focused on the love of Christ. It mentioned Jude 1:21 which says, "Keep yourselves in the love of God, expecting the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ." In the study, Beth writes, "That means practicing the mindset of being profusely loved by God....Actively engaging in his unending, extravagant, no-stings-attached affection for you is not narcissism. It's necessity. It can mean our survival when loving the loveless."
 
Wherever you may be this very day and whoever you are with, I hope you know you are loved. Because you are. Very much. Profusely. We all are. You are loved by the King. The Creator who loved us first and gave his life so we, too, could share this love shown to us with each step we take.

How do we love? By seeking to selflessly share the love of Christ and the truth of the gospel through our words and actions with those placed in our path each day. Where do we learn to love? From the One who first loved us. 

Grace for the New Year

A new year has come. The old year has gone. A calendar page has turned. And black eyed pea sales are down from last month (or so I assume...I have eaten exactly one black eyed pea in my lifetime so I am not an expert).

After Taylor Swift finished "Shaking it Off" in Times Square, the toasts, the smooches, and the confetti, the ball dropped, and the year listed at the end of the date read a number none of had lived before. 2015.

A short 9 days ago, the slate was wiped clean as billions cheered, "Happy New Year!" A phrase holding hope and promise for so many. A chance to start over. A chance to get it right this time.

I have been fickle throughout my lifetime in the making and completion of New Year's resolutions. Last year, I completed 1 out of 5 of my resolutions, and I honestly couldn't tell you what the other 4 were verbatim. However due to the one completed goal, I entered 2015 credit card debt free (thanks to good ole Dave Ramsey, prayer and diligence), so I feel ok with letting the other goals slip aside.

This year, I, once again, made several goals including reading more books (one down so far), using more postage stamps, and enrolling in some cake decorating classes to name a few. Though I hope to and plan on completing these goals in the next calendar year, these types of goals don't exactly weigh on my soul. Maybe the cake decorating one would if I was Martha Stewart, but I'm not. If something happens, and I can't make it, I think I will still be able to sleep at night. Maybe that is the reason I chose them.

If I'm being honest, New Year's resolutions stress me out. Not the kind I listed but ones more on the serious side. More precisely, the fears of failure and inadequacy stress me out. Too often, when the new year rolls around, I find myself dwelling on all the things I didn't do, all the areas in which I have fallen short. You dropped off on scripture memory a few months early. You slipped an said and thought things about people you shouldn't have. You were too selfish with your time. What toned stomach? You probably could have spent a little more time in prayer. You are so far from who you said you wanted to become.

When given a goal, I want to complete it. Perfectly. You say I have to take a test? I want to know all of the material before I sit down so I can answer each question correctly. If someone gives me instructions, I won't conveniently skip over step 3. In most instances, I will most likely double check to see if my t's are crossed and my i's are dotted.

This thought process seems to not be isolated to New Year's Eve. Too often, I find myself tying my worth in so many areas of my life - i.e. being a friend, a daughter, a girlfriend, an aunt, a small group leader, a mentor - to doing. The enemy tells me if I don't do enough, call enough, excel enough, that I am not enough. You are loved in your successes, but are you sure your failures don't make them value you less? You let them down. You failed. They noticed. They won't forget. The enemy is a vicious chatterbox.

Though a merit based life seems to fit in a box of humanness and my desire for control, the Lord gently reminds me that this is not the life he has called me to.

It is far too easy to look at all we are not and the things we seemed to have missed in the scuffle of the previous year. Though my yearly goals change, some underlying hopes and dreams remain the same. I truly hope to grow in my relationship with the Lord each year and become more of the woman He has made me to be.  I hope to make more of an impact for Him and learn to show His love a little better. Slip ups and struggles don't mean failure in the Lord's eyes. The enemy battles to tell me differently. 

When the new year comes, I feel pressure to become the perfect idea of a Christian woman I have in my head. Pressure to never miss a quiet time, spend more time praying than any other activity, and to never have a negative thought. I find myself in fear that I will disappoint those around me and even more so disappoint the Lord.

A dear friend introduced me to a gospel centered daily devotional to use in the upcoming year. As always, the Lord knows just what I need to see and hear. I am so thankful he uses people in my life to point me back toward Him when I look away.

Nearly every day since I started these daily devotionals, a common theme...in this book, in conversations, and in scripture keeps popping out at me. Grace.

On New Year's Eve, the devotional I read talked about the end of the year marking a time when we are expected to make a goal that will in one epic moment of decisiveness and resolve, change our life (talk about timing).

This devotional reminded me that change in character to be more like Christ isn't reliant on one dramatic moment or resolution...how commitment is important and essential, but the change and transformation itself is made up of more mundane little moments. The little moments in our days, weeks, months, and years are what comprise the changes that the Lord works within us. Little moments of grace. Constant offerings and reminders of the price Christ paid and the gift he gave us of neverending grace in salvation. Making the choice in the moments of our days to choose prayer over worry and thankfulness and praise over discontentment.

Choosing to be transformed by Christ doesn't mean never messing up. I think it is recognizing that we will mess up and being reminded that we need the grace God gives us with each breath we take to change and grow.

"Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given." John 1:16

Choosing to live for Christ isn't a call to perfectionism, it's a call to waking up each day and choosing Christ, choosing to seek him in both the mundane moments and the monumental ones. It's recognizing that slip ups aren't moments where we lose God's favor, but moments where we can be reminded of his grace and our need for him as he lovingly draws us back to Him.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

This year I pray the Lord will continually tune my heart sing His grace. I pray He will give me peace and strength to choose Him in the little moments and daily be growing to become not a perfect woman, but one who's heart's desire is to follow Him and share his love with others. I pray that I can find rest and trust in that fact that the Lord will never stop loving and working on me. He will be transforming my heart to be more like His each day I seek Him.

Lord, please teach me to block out the lies of the enemy that tell me to strive for perfection and dwell on failures. Teach me to rest in your grace and the promise that your sacrifice is what covers all of my shortcomings. Remind me that I need your grace and nothing else. Let the voice of your grace sing out above all other voices. Let this be a year full of moments where I see your face and choose to follow your voice. Amen. 

"Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you. 
 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:25-26